Writing in Plain English for lawyers _ LESSON 2

Try personal pronouns

No matter how sophisticated your audience is, if you use personal pro­nouns the clarity of your writing will dramatically improve. Here’s why.

First, personal pronouns aid your reader’s comprehension because they clarify what applies to your reader and what applies to you.

Second, they allow you to “speak” directly to your reader, creating an appealing tone that will keep your reader reading.

Third, they help you to avoid abstractions and to use more concrete and everyday language.

Fourth, they keep your sentences short.

Fifth, first- and second-person pronouns aren’t gender-specific, allowing you to avoid the “he or she” dilemma. The pronouns to use are first­person plural (we, us, our/ours) and second-person singular (you, your/yours).

Observe the difference between these two examples:

before

This Summary does not purport to be complete and is qualified in its entirety by the more detailed information contained in the Proxy Statement and the Appendices hereto, all of which should be carefully reviewed.

after

Because this is a summary, it does not contain all the information that may be important to you. You should read the entire proxy statement and its appendices carefully before you decide how to vote.

Bring abstractions down to earthAbstractions abound in the financial industry. What pictures form in your mind when you read these phrases: mutual fund, the Dow Jones Industrial Average, zero coupon bond, call option, or foreign currency trading? Most people don’t have an image in their minds when they hear abstract words like these. And yet, it’s far easier to comprehend a concept or a situation when your mind can form images.
In a study conducted at Carnegie-Mellon University, a cognitive psychol­ogist and an English professor discovered that readers faced with com­plex written information frequently resorted to creating “scenarios” in an effort to understand the text. That is, they often made an abstract concept understandable by using it in a hypothetical situation in which people performed actions.You can make complex information more understandable by giving your readers an example using one investor. This technique explains why “question and answer” formats often succeed when a narrative, abstract discussion fails.Here is an example of how this principle can be used to explain an abstract concept—call options:

For example, you can buy an option from Mr. Smith that gives you the right to buy 100 shares of stock X from him at $25.00 per share anytime between now and six weeks from now. You believe stock X’s purchase price will go up between now and then. He believes it will stay the same or go down. If you exercise this option before it expires, Mr. Smith must sell you 100 shares of stock X at $25.00 per share, even if the purchase price has gone up. Either way, whether you exercise your option or not, he keeps the money you paid him for the option.  Although it is impossible to eliminate all abstractions from writing, always use a more concrete term when you can. Asset ➡ Investment ➡ Security ➡ Equity ➡ Stock ➡➡ Common stock ➡ One share of IBM common stock The following examples show how you can replace abstract terms with more concrete ones and increase your reader’s comprehension: before Sandyhill Basic Value Fund, Inc. (the “Fund”) seeks capital apprecia­tion and, secondarily, income by investing in securities, primarily equities, that management of the Fund believes are undervalued and therefore represent basic investment value. after At the Sandyhill Basic Value Fund, we will strive to increase the value of your shares (capital appreciation) and, to a lesser extent, to provide income (dividends). We will invest primarily in undervalued stocks, meaning those selling for low prices given the financial strength of the companies. before No consideration or surrender of Beco Stock will be required of shareholders of Beco in return for the shares of Unis Common Stock issued pursuant to the Distribution. after You will not have to turn in your shares of Beco stock or pay any money to receive your shares of Unis common stock from the spin-off. [By the Office of Investor Education and Assistance U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission 450 5th Street, N.W. Washington, DC 20549]